My parents spend a lot of time with my family, so they see us, not just when all our clothes match and our teeth have been brushed and we've put on our happy faces, but also when we're scrubby and grumpy. Sometimes things will happen that I'll wish had not occurred--I'll speak to my mother with a bit of impatience, for example--and later I'll feel very badly about it. But my husband is quick to console me with a "she probably won't remember it anyway!" comment, and that does bring a tiny portion of solace to my heart. I hope that somehow, the ugliness of life will fade from her memory, and only the beautiful portions remain.
Another thing I've noticed about Mother is that she'll often make sweeping statements, particularly about the food we eat. Since they eat nearly every evening meal with us, she gets to sample all of my cooking; but the wonderful thing about that is how appreciative she is. It's a rare night in which she doesn't say at least once, "Thank you so much for supper; it was delicious!" And more and more often these days, she'll include comments like, "That chicken your husband grilled was the best grilled chicken I've ever had!" or "That potato casserole you made had the best flavor!" I smile, say "thank you," but in my head, I question, "Really, Mother? Out of all the years of your life and the MANY times you've had grilled chicken, this was the best? And are you sure this potato casserole was any tastier than other ones I've made--or you yourself have made, for that matter?"
Oh, well, I guess I'll just be grateful for the little things, the unexpected advantages of dealing with such a horrible disease. Are there advantages?! Yes! Like the fact that, as her memory decreases, she really does think she's never had a salad so scrumptious as the one I made for our supper. As I laugh a little to myself, I'll try to simply say, "I'm so glad you liked it." :)
